Principles of Community: Pandemic Context Edition

Creating inclusive, safe spaces is not easy, but it is something to which we’re committed. We don’t always get it right, but we know certain principles help us better create the spaces we want to see in the world. 

In person, we feel more flexibility in how we can shape the communities we bring together and participate within. During this time of social distancing, we’re seeing a resurgence of old demons, emergence of new challenges, and convergence of social needs and patterns. These observations have caused us to re-see what we know about building and sustaining community. 

While we have both worked with “Principles of Community” frameworks in prior contexts and value the aims such documents bring to collaborative spaces, we also recognize a disconnect between the exigencies of today and the contexts we lived within BZ (Before Zoom). We cannot wait for life to go back to normal (something we don’t believe is possible anyway) before we start addressing the threats to community-building we see now.  

To that end, we offer these principles as a means of challenging ourselves to create the spaces we’d like to see as we navigate our current reality. We will be inviting those in the spaces we share to review, respond, and offer revision to these guiding principles in the days to come.

Overview

We believe communities ought to be built upon a spirit of inclusivity and not only welcome diversity but maintain that the convergence of difference is an essential property of “beloved community,” as it was defined by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

We believe all participants in our shared spaces have the right to share, the right to be heard, and the right to listen. We respect and cherish the thoughts, feelings, emotions, and experiences of all who honor us with their presence. 

We also recognize that social and cultural dynamics and the reality of unearned privilege can allow for exploitation in “open forum” situations. As such, we believe spaces benefit from a designated “space-holder,” who is mindful of the principles below and takes an active role in shepherding the group when issues arise that challenge these values. We also recognize value in shared “space-holding” that allows the opportunity for group members to take ownership and responsibility for the care that is offered within our communities.  

Our Principles 

1. Make a Mindful Entrance.

We notice the ways that making an online entrance is distinct from entering a new room in person. We also acknowledge that it can take longer to pick up on the tenor of the new space when eye contact and body language are less observable. We also honor that people in our communities are adapting constantly to changing dynamics, both internally and externally. What each group needs may change from one day to the next.  Therefore, we commit to entering first quietly and to intentionally listen and observe before contributing.

2. Pause for Welcome.

We prioritize the need to acknowledge and welcome one another as we come together. Online spaces can contribute to feelings of invisibility and make it more difficult to accurately observe feelings of disengagement, isolation, and frustration. We can make a small gesture to see one another by acknowledging those who enter the space. If someone enters the space while we’re speaking, we will pause and recognize the new addition with a quick greeting. If we notice someone has joined the space without recognition, we will politely interject or use the chat feature to ensure some acknowledgement has been made.

3. Stay Open to New Experiences.

We know and acknowledge, and it is our hope, that as a diverse space is cultivated, the diversity of ideas and perspectives grows. When participating in a space, we find that we get the most out of them when we do leave ourselves open to the possibility that something unexpected may be said, or heard, and especially that something unexpected may pass through us as a felt sense of emotion. When this happens, can we ask ourselves: what is my perspective on the subject and do I take responsibility for it? Rather than, “this person made me feel this way,” what if rather, “I feel this in response to what was said.” Opening ourselves to new and unexpected experiences allows us to better recognize our perspectives and conditions more fully, and therefore allows us additional opportunities for growth and self-reflection.

4. Listen to Our Needs.

As the saying goes, “put your own oxygen mask on first!” In all spaces, no matter the intention of the space-holder, our needs, and our commitment to administering to them, take precedence over the needs of the group or the space we are in. When people are mindful of their own needs, they are better able to have a positive and productive interaction in the space, and they are better able to identify when, and under what circumstances, their needs are, and are not, being considered. 

5. Hold Space for Others.

In our spaces, we are committed to providing a space as best we can for people to have an experience that they can learn from, can grow from, and can, we hope, pay forward to others in their community. We are committed to ensuring that all voices are able to be heard, regardless of many of the seen, and unseen, privileges that we encounter in our communities and societies. “Holding space” means making room for ALL participants to engage, and to participate, in a meaningful and mindful way. 

6. Separate Intent from Impact.

We understand that the words we use do not always have the intended effect that they have when we say them. When we say or do something, we do so with an intention to convey a purpose, a meaning, or what we think of is a perspective or an understanding. How these words are seen and heard to others, however, can vary from what that spoken or written intention may have been. Effective and mindful communication, therefore, requires a communicator to recognize that the intention of a word or action is part of the exchange, and understanding the impact of those words or actions is an additional but also equal part.

7. Practice Self Focus.

We recognize and respect that what is said, what is heard, and what is intended may resonate with participants in the space differently. As words are said and heard, we may, through listening mindfully, find that we can feel the words, and the intent of the words, moving through us. Focusing on what we feel individually and noticing how we experience participation  within a group allows the potential for a deeper understanding of our own relationship to situations. Practicing self-focus allows each of us to feel how what is being said, what is being heard, and what the general feeling of the space is within us, and allows each of us to be in a position where we can best monitor how we can make the most from the spaces we are in.  

8. Thoughtfully Back-channel.

While passing notes and texting during group meetings have historically been perceived as rude gestures in traditional meeting settings, we recognize the need for decentralized communication in our meeting spaces. We understand that online calls do not allow for organic pairing off or side conversations in the way physically spaces customarily might. So we encourage thoughtful back-channeling, or moving a conversation to a side platform. We make use of the chat function, request to move to breakout groups, and explore other channels for dialogue to allow space for multiple threads of conversation, interest, and need. We use these channels to be sensitive to the group and not occupy space for prolonged discussion that might not benefit the whole of the community. We do not, however, allow back-channel communication to take away from or disrespect the space being held by those speaking within the primary platform of the space. Muting microphones and/or video may assist us in this effort at times.

9. Honor Confidentiality.

Intentional spaces can be powerful places in which participants, under an understanding of trust, may feel free to explore whatever it may be that is moving through them. Sharings offered in these spaces are made in the context of that space as an appropriate place in which to share, and are done so with the expectation of confidentiality, which itself is founded on intentional participation in the space itself.  

10. Reflect before Re-entry.

Entering a space, exiting a space, and re-entering a space all provide opportunities for learning and growth through self-reflection. As we leave a space, we invite ourselves to take a moment to reflect back on the experience that we had, and ask ourselves how our best self was represented. When we reflect, do we have a sense of accomplishment in how good of a job we did? Or, rather, was our best self represented as it relates to ourselves in the context of contributing to a shared space? Before we re-enter spaces, we take intentional time for reflection. We consider our past experiences and make an informed decision on how we can best serve both our own needs and our understanding of the needs of everyone present in the shared space.